AMPS (Advanced Mobile Phone Service), the US's first widely-deployed cellular network, is a useful case study in real-world mobile system engineering. Constrained to the technology of late-1970s portable electronics, it designers shipped an incredibly simple, though insecure, technology relative to contemporary 3G/4G systems. Nevertheless, the design served millions of people reliably for decades. AMPS's initial lack of security gave phreaks and reverse engineers an exciting playground during its heyday; I decided to pay my homage by bringing a bit of it back to life.